The tidy lie, the ugly truth and the liberating reality - Part 2

This is part 4 in an ongoing series entitled “Becoming a People of Prayer” Click here for a listing of previous posts in this series if you want to catch up on what you’ve missed.

The tidy lie, the ugly truth and the liberating reality

Despite the obviousness of the scriptural teaching our human nature and our own insecurities often captain the helm of our soul and we buy into destructive lies that hinder our ability to extend and receive the comfort of God through sharing and prayer in the community of his people. Worse than that, as I listen to some of you become transparent with me (and I’ve really been blessed by the candour some of you have extended me – so thank you) what I see is that there is a lie – under the lie in most cases – that you don’t even really know what the lie is that you’re believing.

Today we continue with the second great lie.

Lie #2

You say...

My situation is too embarrassing to share in church

This is what I call the awkward excuse. Sharing this would be awkward so I’m just going to keep it to myself. And certainly – I’m not so blindly idealistic that I’m going to stand here and tell you that some things are not more private than others. For example I don’t think that standing in the prayer meeting and sharing about troubles in the intimate details of your marriage is appropriate – some prayer requests are meant for smaller circles of fellowship – but I also don’t think that these are the types of requests that we’re getting hung up on not sharing with one another.

We’re embarrassed to share the things in life that cast us in a negative or unflattering light. We’re embarrassed to share things that show the people around us in church that we’re not in the words of the Casting Crown’s song Stained Glass Masquerade:

“Happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain”

We’re afraid to be real. We’re afraid to show the church what everyone else outside of our fellowship sees in us on a daily basis. We’re afraid to show the church what our co-workers see in us; what our neighbours see in us; what our families see in us. Perhaps we’ve had a back experience in the church in the past where authenticity has come back to bite us in the backside, or perhaps we were simply raised in a Christian community where the expectations were simply that you projected perfection at church and nothing less. But the reality is that none of us are perfect and if you meet someone at church that has that veneer of polished evangelical excellence, you can be pretty sure they are working hard to fake it.

What you are really saying is...

You wouldn’t love/admire/respect me if you knew what I was really like

Continuing with the song, we are asking the question:

“But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay”

You’re afraid that if you take off your Sunday morning mask and let people see the real you for a change – the person who doesn’t have the perfect family, the person who struggles at work, who may be estranged from their children, who’s struggling with money, who’s battling illness and losing hope, who’s questioning the goodness of God and worrying about what tomorrow will bring – you’re afraid that if people see the real you they will judge you, and lose respect for you.

So you stay quiet. So you keep the mask on. And you suffer in silence because you’re afraid of letting up your stained glass masquerade. Well allow me to encourage you with a dose of reality.

How it really is...

The family of God should be a safe place to be authentic

As yourself the question: How would you react if the person three rows back from you in church shared the very thing you were struggling with? Would you judge them? Would you lose all respect for them? Would you stand up and ask for them to be thrown out of the church? Or would you be moved to pray for them, would you be inspired to come alongside them and help them out of whatever valley their walking through. Would you be moved in your heart by the Holy Spirit to fulfil the call of Galatians 6:2 which says:

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

Galatians 6:2 (TNIV)

Now disengage your emotions for a second and try to think dispassionately logically for a second – be as Vulcan as you can possibly be and ask yourself the question – if this is my instinctive reaction to a brother or sister in distress, why do I assume that everyone else would respond differently to me?

Moreover – if you’re so terrified to take off your mask and share in the prayer time how do you think everyone else is feeling? I’ve learned from experience what I can assume many of you have also observed: in a sharing service or a prayer time when someone has the courage to be vulnerable and authentic before the assembled people of God it’s like someone opens the floodgates and that one person’s transparency gives everyone else permission to be real as well. 

Don’t use the awkward excuse when it comes time to share and pray – dare to take off the mask and trust that people will still love you without the masquerade – and know that you might even give someone else the courage to do the same.