For Joanna

I am blessed with a wonderful and amazing wife. She has supported me, stood beside me and encouraged me through many situations that would make many people want to give up and run away. She has entertained my crazy ideas, trusted me with difficult decisions when we haven't seen eye to eye and not held it against me when hindsight vindicates her, rather than my, outlook on circumstances. Going to Guatemala was particularly difficult for me this year because I knew that I was leaving her with the full responsibility for not only things at the church in my absence, but also the responsibility to care for our two boys while pregnant with our third child and suffering pain and discomfort from a large ovarian cyst. I managed to convince my mother to come out and give Joanna aid for about a week while I was away (something we are both very grateful for) but even her presence did not alleviate all of the excess stress that Jo was under. I went away this year feeling very guilty about not being at home.

Now I know that guilt isn't form God and I know that God had wanted me to go - He proved that to me by what happened in me and in the team as we were away but I just needed to lay that on the table before I said anything else. This journey was difficult for me - but more than that it was difficult for Joanna and I want to acknowledge and thank her for allowing me to pursue God despite what it cost her.

Another reason I bring this up is that while this exercise in selling my possessions and giving to the poor is about what God is wanting to do in my heart through this season of Lent - it's also about making a statement to my wife about my commitment to this lifestyle change. It's very difficult to go away on a short term missions trip as a married person without your spouse - you will see things and learn things and be convicted of things that your spouse will not necessarily feel the same way about. And when you come home it's easy to be fired up about making some big changes in life that greatly impact the lifestyles of your loved ones without them fully understanding why and what's changed. In reality, to those who didn't share the experience, the motivations for such radical life changes come across as fickle, fleeting and suspect. So how was I going to demonstrate to Joanna the seriousness and genuineness of my conviction? The answer was my Transformers.

My Transformers have been somewhat of a sacred cow in my life for most of our marriage. Joanna is fond of telling people the story of the day we moved into our first apartment as a married couple - she was unpacking clothes in the bedroom and I was unpacking boxes in the kitchen. We had been in separate rooms for about a half an hour when she came into the kitchen to get something only to find  no dishes in the cupboards, but a row of scary (her opinion, not mine) looking robot toys all neatly posed and displayed across the top of the kitchen cupboards. I had stumbled upon my box of Transformers in unpacking the kitchen and did what came natural. Whenever we have moved house there has been a bit of a negotiation process on where I could display my collection and how many Transformers I could have on display, and of course the "scary" looking ones stay in boxes.

It's also been a point of frustration for Jo that when I've wanted to spend money I wasn't entitled to on something frivolous (say a new video game, upgrading my phone, or even more Transformers) I haven't been willing to sell some of my coveted collection to finance the purchase. She has thought (and rightly so) that if I wanted something badly that I didn't need, that I would have to sacrifice to earn it (apparently I can be quite the child in these situations). Now my collection is not worth nearly as much as my wife would like to believe it's worth (most of my toys have been opened and played with rather than mint in sealed box) but there is a not insignificant investment represented by them. So the question becomes why am I not willing to part with them? And is my unwillingness to sell my toys in storage an indication of an unwillingness to really commit to meaningful life change?

How can I justify asking my wife to change our lifestyle and financial priorities - giving more of OUR wealth away if I'm not willing to give what I have first. The sad truth of the matter is that Joanna is fully justified in her skepticism of my new-found convictions and if I want to show her the seriousness of my feelings I need to demonstrate that I'm willing to first do what I can with my possessions that don't affect her or my children which is why I've chosen to begin with my Transformers rather than say my video games or some other possessions that I've not been nearly as attached to. My intention in doing this (beyond obedience to the call I feel that God has placed on me to realign my priorities) is to make a statement to my wife and to show her how committed I am to this. She in turn is just thrilled that she's getting back one of our much coveted shelving units for storage of supplies for her music studio and is looking forward to seeing fewer little robots scattered around our house.

Goodbye my friends...

So with that in mind I'm revealing the first two figures that I'm parting with this Lent - from the 2007 live action movie line - Leader Class Optimus Prime and Leader Class Megatron.

Like Joanna and I these two characters are inseparably linked in relationship. You can't talk about Optimus Prime without talking about Megatron as well - in a way they define each other. They are also the biggest toys on my storage shelf (which will undoubtedly make Joanna happy as well). So there you go. The purge has begun.

I should be posting another figure this evening to get me back on track with my one figure per day commitment. Until then, be blessed.

Chris